Mark my words…
Before I had kids I cringed whenever a mother would refer to herself as “mommy” in public; i.e. “No thank you, please let mommy do it.” Blegh. Gag me with a spoon, I thought. I am never going to sound like that. But, here we are, and I literally just told my daughter, with my hands on the keyboard typing the title to this post, “Mommy needs to finish this work real quick, then I’ll come to the basement.” I am that mom. I totally speak in third person…on the daily. I bet if someone were recording me that 80% of the words that come out of my mouth would be in third person.
What the heck?
When did this happen? I mean, we teach our toddlers to say “I” instead of their names, right? For example, Milo should say, “I can do it.” Not “Milo can do it.” Somehow, even though I still don’t follow my own advice, Milo has pretty good grammar, for a two-year-old, and tends to use first person like a good little boy.
Tell me what you really think…
I sometimes wonder if my kids think I’m annoying when I talk about myself using third person. I bet they do. What sweet little angels they are for keeping that to themselves and letting mommy chatter away like a crazy lady. See? Even when I write I use third person…I swear I wasn’t even doing it deliberately, but now that its been typed out I have to leave it there. Proof of my new speech pattern since having children.
When did it all begin?
f I really think about it, I probably started this misguided journey of third person speaking the day Zoe was born. I can just hear myself alone in my hospital room, holding my newborn in my arms, whispering things like, “Hello there, little one. Mommy loves you so much. Mommy is so happy you are here.”
That’s when it stared for sure.
I was alone with Zoe for much of her early months, and she was the only one I was talking to most of the time. She didn’t talk back, little stinker, so I was always using third person. “Just a minute baby girl, mommy will be right there.” “It’s ok, little girl, mommy has you.” Is it innate? Maybe it’s not even my fault? Yep, I’ll go with that. It has to be one of those mom things…like the ability we have to hear the slightest of sounds and movements of a newborn form two rooms away, without a baby monitor, and straight out of (what we thought was) a deep slumber.
Please tell me I’m not the only one…
Other moms have this power, too, right? I mean, I’m not a freak of nature who can hear high pitched whistles that only dogs can hear; just almost silent, minuscule gurgles and movements made by newborn babies. It doesn’t even matter if it’s through a baby monitor or a wall…take your pick and I will be able to hear everything. Not so unique, I’m sure. Actually, now that I think about it, this sounds more like a superpower. A Mom-power.
Mom-powers are insane
Mom-ears are one thing, but don’t even get me started on our ability to birth humans and sustain life. I could go on for hours. As luck would have it, I don’t have hours. It’s learning time downstairs and mommy is a little late! There I go again…third person! Sheesh! I wish there was another way to say third person, because I just typed it so many times that it’s driving home the general idea of overuse a little too well. Anywho, I’ll soldier on, and probably speak like a robotic mother of a toddler for years to come. It’s a gift.
