When I think of someone who is burned out, my mind creates a picture of an overworked corporate business employee or a professional athlete after a hard training session for the Olympics. However, anyone can become overwhelmed…no matter their age. I think it’s fair to say that kids can experience burnout, but it looks quite different from what I previously described.
Obviously, the reasons that kids become overworked or burned out are clearly different from most adults. They aren’t worried about finances or teaching their offspring to be decent humans, but kids still have internal and external pressures. Schoolwork, friendships, and other challenges of growing up can be a lot to deal with. Most kids don’t know exactly how to manage these stressors. They need to be taught how to effectively deal with and handle stressful situations.
As parents, we have the ability to help! Here are some tips to help you and your children navigate those stressful situations that can leave you feeling mentally exhausted. Emotional fatigue is a major sign of burnout in children and adults. Show your son or daughter how to recharge when they’re feeling drained. Maybe you’ll be able to avoid your child feeling burned out in the first place.
- Take it easy. Cutting back on your (your child’s) workload could be part of the solution. Some kids are over scheduled with commitments that come along with school and after-school activities. Try to emphasize the activities that your children enjoy most and allow for more down time throughout the school week.
- Focus on sleep. If children don’t get enough sleep it can negatively impact their lives. Things such as physique, psychological health/behavior, and intellectual performance can suffer greatly. School age kids should have between nine and twelve hours of sleep each day, and that amount should decrease as each year passes.
- Eat healthy. If your kids are anything like mine, they will go through a “picky eating” phase. As parents, it’s part of our job to help our kids build and maintain healthy eating habits. It becomes somewhat of a challenge when you have a wee one who will only eat PB&J, but, like I said, it’s only a phase, right? If your kids are willing, be sure to feed them complex carbohydrates (like brown rice, oatmeal or sweet potatoes), nuts, and calcium rich foods. These foods are particularly beneficial for fighting stress because they provide a somewhat constant stream of adequate sugar to the blood. You can read more about that here.
- Get Physical. Exercising can be a productive way to deal with emotions that are causing pressure on your body and mind. Do some physical activity as a family and you can score some quality time points while you’re at it! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy…dance parties and Wii sports are acceptable. You can play outside or go for a scooter or bike ride and you’ll also benefit from sunshine and fresh air.
- Self-care. Children learn best through imitation. How often do you actively set aside time to engage in some sort of self-care practice? Implement a 20 or 30-minute “toes up” time each afternoon where you all lay down and either rest your eyes or read a book. Introducing your kids to self-care and relaxation techniques will help them cope when you’re not readily available to personally guide them.
Stay connected to prevent burnout…
In addition to following these tips, you also need to know how to stay connected with your children throughout stressful periods of their lives. You can actually prevent a burnout from happening by modeling for your children the proper ways to communicate. Show them that having a community of family and friends with whom they regularly communicate is important for their well-being.
Keep these ideas in mind to stay connected…
-Present options. When your child feels out of control, it can be a factor that leads to feeling burned out. You can help them regain control by offering choices when it comes to things like snacks, books to read or the order in which to complete homework assignments.
-Play around. Don’t be afraid to let loose. Some children are too eager to please or overly-focused on how they compare to others. Chances are they might loosen up a bit if the stakes are changed or even removed. Try suggesting games or activities that don’t have a winner and are just for fun. Someone who is burned out often has a hard time goofing around because they are so worried about whatever is burning them out. So, it might take some convincing, but a little dose of fun does a body (and mind) good!
-Make art. Creative children should be encouraged. Doing crafts is a hands-on, concrete way to move their focus to something positive, take their mind off their troubles and build their self-assurance along the way. Simply coloring or drawing can often ease the mind during stressful times. You could even do a simple project together, such as re-paint a bedside table or shelf from your child’s bedroom.
-Limit Electronics. It’s possible that your family might need a to take a pause from watching the news. Overhearing dreadful pandemic-related conversations isn’t good for anyone, let alone a child. Be aware of what your kids are hearing, and maybe seeing, even when you least expect it. If they do overhear something, be sure to have a conversation to make sure they understand everything to the best of their ability.
-Be Prepared. Children are more perceptive than you realize. Pay attention to your situation and any changes that may be occurring in your lives. Vulnerability arises with even the smallest of changes, such as an older sibling suddenly (in your child’s eyes) being allowed to stay up later at night. More substantial changes, like a household move or the birth of a new baby, are easier to spot. One thing that can help you stay prepared is by having routines in place that continue throughout every situation. Anything that makes your child feel secure and loved throughout the process can lessen the stress they may feel.
Be a role model. The way in which you deal with your own stressors will directly impact your kids. Try your best to stay positive and be health conscious, even if you’re trying to handle something way beyond your control. I’m not saying you need to hide what you’re dealing with, but just remember that you children have big ears and eyes and most often they are seeing and hearing more than you realize. Basically, if you are feeling burned out yourself, make sure your children understand what’s happening and that they don’t feel threatened by your stressors.
Be open. To add to the previous tip about being a good role model, it can help to have open communication with your kids. Let them know that you are stressed, but assure them that it’s nothing you can’t handle and that they are safe and loved. Kids need to know that it’s appropriate to have feelings of anger, frustration or sadness in some situations. Spending time with one another often and having an open line of communication will make sensitive conversations easier in the future.
See the signs of burnout and take action…
Last, but not least, always be on the lookout for signs that your child is burned out. Some simple warning signals may be: not sleeping well, being irritable, or shying away from things they normally like. As soon as you notice that something off, use these tips to reel your child back in. With your help and support, your children can find their way back to a life of positivity and, as odd as it may sound, a healthy balance of stress and happiness.
